Back To Reality Sucks - 07.28.2003
This morning my girlfriend subjected me to a horrible experience
and another example of how ours society is sinking down into the
depths of Hell and that Armageddon must be among us. It was a
little piece of radio entertainment called "War of the roses".
Here's the low down. The DJ's would call a hapless victim and
explain that they have won a dozen roses to be delivered to
anyone, anywhere in the US of A. All they need to do is give a
name and the verbiage they would like on the card. The goal is
to see it the guy is cheating and will send the roses to someone
other than the wife or girlfriend or whomever. My immediate
reaction was one of disgust, because I'm not really interested
in other people's problems and I hate reality anything, but my
lovely partner assured me that it was good bit and that she would
really like to listen to it. My many years of life experiences
has taught me that I should basically do whatever a woman wants
so long as it doesn't cause an inordinate amount of pain. Okay,
that's BS. Do what they want, period… or Die. So, I gave in,
but I explained to her that it's totally un-cool to ambush
someone like that on the air. I explained to her how
dismayed (pissed off beyond control) I would be if she did
something like that to me.
It would basically go down like this.
1. They would call me and I would say to send the flowers to my girl.
2. They would tell me they were from a radio show and that I passed the test.
3. I would say, "You dumb bitch!", hang up, and I would never speak to her again.
Well, I might contact her a few times to eloquently express my
feelings to her in the form of euphemisms peppered with extreme
expletives. Look, no guy likes to have his personal garbage
made public, especially if it's aired on the radio for other
people's entertainment. I say that, but then I see these retards
that end up on daytime talk shows and it is made apparent that
some people just don't gots no damn pride. So, maybe it's just
me.
As usual, my girlfriend is not interested in my opinion. "Anyway", she
says "they always send it to some other girl. The bastards!"
This is her way of saying that, although she realizes that this
is a terrible way to treat someone, these guys deserve it. And,
she will enjoy their misery. So, I listened to it with a slight
mix of terror and wonderment. I usually don't expose myself to
this kind of trash entertainment, so I wasn't even sure what to
expect, but I was willing to give it a chance. It turned out to
be far worse that I ever thought was possible.
The girl comes on and says that a year ago her boyfriend cheated
on her and the only reason he told her was because he had
contracted a venereal disease (Oh God!). So, they worked
through it and she forgave him (Right…), but now she thinks
he's back to his cheating ways. The radio idiots ask why she
thinks this, and the best she can come up with is that he
sometimes comes home from work 10 minutes late. Also, he takes
long showers in the morning. (Huh?) Long story short, he passes
the test and the girl is like, "oh, honey thank you for being
true to me". Now the guy, understandably, doesn't sound very
happy and says, "I'm not surprised she's testing me, it's all
she does lately." The radio dude goes, "Well, you have cheated
on her before. Let me ask you, if you hadn't contracted VD, would
you have told her about it?" So this guy starts stammering,
"abbba abba aaaaaa errr aaaaa… Yes I would have." Now, I know
this poor bastard is thinking that it was just announced on the
radio that, A. He cheated on his girlfriend. And B. He had a case
of the clap or the drip or some other nasty thing. Personally,
I was amazed at how quickly he recovered. Then, this ignoramus
of a woman says, "how come it took so long for you to answer."
WHAT? You just announced this monster of a mutha on the radio
for all to hear, then you ambushed him (probably at work) with
the help of two complete strangers, and you have the nerve to
question why it took him so long to respond. I'm sorry, but you
probably deserve to be cheated on you twit. There's a good
chance that, while pausing and muttering, he was thinking of
ways to hide your body after he's through with you.
Look ladies, if you think your man's showering a long time or
coming home late because he's getting some strange, just ask him
or try something simple, don't humiliate the two of you in front
of a multitude of strange people.
The sad truth is that this type of entertainment is the norm,
not the exception. It seems like every other TV show is of the
reality variety and they usually have people humiliating
themselves to some degree. I guess people's lives aren't
interesting enough, so they dig into these shows about other
people's garbage. Or, maybe knowing how terrible some people
have it and watching them suffer, makes their shitty little
lives seem that much more worth living. Regardless of the
reasons, these shows suck and the people on them are pretty
much freaks desperately in search of their 15 minutes.
If everyone would just stop watching and listening to this trash,
the genre would disappear.
I have learned one thing out of all this, though.
If a someone calls me and tells me that I've won
a dozen roses to send anywhere in the USA, I'm hanging the damn phone up and
getting the hell out of Dodge.
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