Wheel of Disability - 10.30.2002
I read an article in the paper today about people using stolen
handicap hang tags to park in handicap or metered spots.
How low can people descend. I can’t think of a more pathetic crime.
In most cases, the tags are stolen or borrowed form an older
relative that actually needs the damn thing.
The article explains how difficult it is to catch these people
and when caught, the fine is only $150.00. There is the problem.
If you get away with this in downtown Houston for just three weeks,
you will save more than the $150.00 fine will cost.
The way to stop this is by doling out a little poetic justice.
Let’s let them keep their stolen hang tags and give them a handicap.
That’s right, we’ll break some legs, It’ll be fun. We could have
a “Wheel Of Disability”. If someone is caught with false hang tags,
they would have to spin this wheel and receive the resulting
disablement. Some of the ailments would be broken legs, arthritis,
blindness, weak heart, etc. I’m not sure how we would dispense the
sicknesses, but I have a firm grasp on the leg breaking.
As a matter of fact, I will volunteer as the designated “Leg Breaker”.
Have you noticed I’m stuck on this leg-breaking thing?
It must be an Italian thing.
The funny thing is that these lazy, pathetic, pieces of rodent
excrement actually try to justify their actions. One upstanding
citizen (yep, he is a lawyer), said he didn’t feel guilty because
he has received parking tickets in the past that he didn’t deserve.
He didn’t bother to mention what crime the little old lady with
Parkinson’s disease did to him. He gladly made her limp 10 blocks
through the pouring rain, struggling with her little walker
the whole way so his fat ass could avoid some
much needed exercise and save five bucks.
Then there’s the spineless, weasel of a bastard who says he feels
a little guilty, but he’s not the only one who does it.
At this point my mom would bring up jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge,
but I would like to let this guy know that thousands of people
commit suicide annually. Come on dude, give it at try – lots of
other people do it. You won’t even feel guilty.
Anyway, the reason that things like this happen is because a
most people are inherently lazy and cheap. But, most
people who are lazy and cheap are also cowards, so I think our
“Wheel Of Disability” would keep them honest. This way, Granny
can find a good parking spot to park her bumper car.
Now, whether she should have a license and
be driving at all is something completely different.
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Comments or Responses?
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